Am I Evil
by Lord Agravane the Undead
Summary: Saturn wants to chat up hot girls at the beach but Cyrus says he has to work instead. So...how can Saturn get revenge?


**Am I Evil**

_By Lord Agravane the Undead_

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon or any of the characters within.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Sinnoh; just the right sort of day for Cyrus to find somewhere nice and quiet to sit and do vast amounts of important work on his laptop. The problem was finding somewhere where he wouldn't be disturbed. The apartment he shared with his mates was out because Jupiter and Mars were planning for a cosplay and kept badgering Cyrus to look at their various outfits. The Secret Base was out because the grunts were holding a massive rave party there (complete with hundreds of glowsticks). Finally, the quaint and usually quiet little cafe was out because Lucas and Barry were holding a Poker tournament in there and their bets were reaching a level of disturbingness that would shock a Lovecraft creature.

So Cyrus had armed himself with a parasol, a blankie to sit on and some pop to drink and had descended upon the beach. Of course, as it was a nice day, the beach was pretty crowded too but mainly down by the seafront. Cyrus had found a sheltered nook within the cliffs and had settled there to work.

Everything was peaceful at first but after a while, Cyrus was interrupted by a familiar guy. Saturn squeezed in through the gap and sat down next to Cyrus with a bump.

"Hey Boss", he said. "What are you doing?"

"I am working", Cyrus replied.

"At the beach?"

"Yes. It is quiet here. Everywhere else was too noisy and I could not concentrate".

Saturn shrugged. "Fair enough". Cyrus continued to type up important information onto the laptop. Saturn leaned back on the soft sand, covering his eyes to shield them from the sun above.

"Few, it's hot in here", said Saturn, fanning himself with his other hand. "There's no breeze at all". He looked at Cyrus, who was still clad in his uniform. "Aren't you hot?"

"No", said Cyrus, not looking up from his laptop. "I am quite comfortable".

"Huh, I bet you're roasting!" Saturn got up and brushed sand off his swim shorts. "I'm gonna go do something fun. I'll catch ya later".

"Wait a minute", said Cyrus, finally looking up. "Something fun? As in what?"

"Hmmmmm", said Saturn, casting his eyes over to where a group of attractive girls were playing volleyball.

Cyrus shook his head. "No. You need to work today".

"Wait, wait...why?" Saturn whined.

"Because you have had too many days off recently", said Cyrus.

"I have not!" Saturn protested.

Cyrus eyed him up.

"Last Saturday, you went to an Iron Maiden concert. On Monday, you went bog snorkelling with Dawn and Lucas. On Wednesday, you were to Mocha World Resort and Theme Park and on Thursday, you visited your rich and eccentric Great Aunt and Uncle in their fabulous mansion and spent the whole time drinking iced tea and Bidoof watching in their 100 acres of land. So today, you have to work".

"But that's not fair", Saturn protested. "I wanna watch those girls playing volleyball! Look Boss". Saturn pointed at them again and grinned. "Aren't they hot?"

"I do not feel any emotion, therefore I am not attracted to members of the opposite or the same sex", said Cyrus.

"Yeah, sure", said Saturn, rolling his eyes. "What about Cynthia?"

Cyrus raised his eyebrows about a fraction of an inch and his cheeks turned ever so slightly pink.

"You're trying to change the subject", he finally said.

"Hm, maybe", grinned Saturn. "But you didn't answer me properly.

"I can't answer you, I'm too busy working", said Cyrus and he resumed typing. Saturn peeped over his shoulders and noticed he had mistyped also as aslo.

"Go on Boss, admit that you fancy Cynthia", said Saturn.

"I do not", said Cyrus, only sounding about 99.999999999999999% sure. "I am not attracted to girls".

"But I am", said Saturn. He glanced over to the volleyball players again. "Please let me have a day off and chat them up".

"No", said Cyrus. "Go back to our Secret Base and work".

"Shucks!" said Saturn. "You're such a slave driver". He gave Cyrus his best hurt look (complete with puppy eyes).

"I do not feel the emotion of guilt so that isn't working on me", said Cyrus.

Saturn sighed in an exaggerated way and left the nook, shoulders slumped. He pretended to walk away and then peeped back inside, to see if Cyrus was feeling guilty for being so sadistic towards him.

Cyrus was staring at his laptop screen again, typing up important work.

Saturn sighed again and shuffled away, kicking at the loose sand with his flip-flops. As he made his way back up the beach, he encountered Cynthia. But it wasn't just any old Cynthia. Oh no, this was Cynthia wearing an impossibly skimpy bikini, that left little to Saturn's imagination (And Saturn had a very active imagination when it came to girls in bikinis).

"Hi Saturn", said Cynthia, smiling at him. "What are you up to?"

"I have to work", Saturn said gloomily. "My Boss has just ordered me too because he is mean and evil".

"Oh, is Cyrus here?" said Cynthia eagerly.

"Um, yeah", said Saturn. He looked at Cynthia again and a positively depraved idea entered into his mind.

"Yeah, he's just through that gap in the cliffs, in a really private nook", said Saturn. "And he's working too hard; he's practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He needs somebody to get him to slack off a bit, somebody who will encourage him to go swimming and stuff like that. Oh yeah, he's got his whole uniform on so he's in danger of heatstroke. That needs to come off and he needs somebody (the same person, I am thinking) to rub sun cream on him".

"I can do all of that", said Cynthia, gazing towards the nook in desire.

"Sure, go ahead", said Saturn.

He watched as Cynthia hurried over to the nook. Then Saturn grinned, licked his finger and drew an imaginary line in mid air before setting off for the Secret Base.

**The End**


End file.
